Ill be candid for a minute here...I was not feeling good this morning. A week from today, Ill be going through my first radiation treatment. I have so much I want to get done and the only thing rolling through my brain was "Why me God? Why now? Its not fair!" Though I believe I have every excuse in the book to have this attitude, it wrecks a persons day.
I didn't want to get out of bed.
I didn't want to face the day.
I didn't want to deal with preparing for next week.
I was quite content, lying in my bed, dwelling on how bad my life seemed to be going.
Enter Josh crashing through tightly shut bedroom door. I knew what was coming. Josh flew mid-air over the bed and landed right next to me...literally, sharing my pillow. I looked over...somewhat annoyed, and he just smiled and laughed. Then he said "Who made the trees? God did! Who made me? God did! That's awesome! Get up mom...lets go!"
God is Creator. God is the Beginning and the End. God is the Author of life...I've simply been invited into His story. I don't get to choose my part, but I do know how the final chapter will end.
Yes...I got that from a 4 year-old...God speaks to me anywhere.
It could have stopped there...
After the field trip I told Josh we could swing by the park and eat lunch on the way to preschool. He was beyond excited...I was already exhausted from the CIDP and losing sleep last night.
We got to the park and started eating. Josh had a lunchable...I had a Sprite (its my lunch on most days). He started eating and the wind started moving his tray. I got annoyed..."Give me a break" I thought. "I'm trying to enjoy lunch with my son here!"
The wind blew harder...and I started getting frustrated. I went to grab Josh's tray and he smiled and said "Look at this mom!" He had the one end of the tray in his mouth...holding it from the wind...smiling too.
I smiled. He was just laughing when I was getting frustrated by something so small.
I told him I wanted a picture...he told me to get in the picture too. He grabbed the cheese..I had the tray...and now I have a great memory too.
Just yesterday I was asking our elementary group what was the biggest thing they struggle with. One by one they whispered things like lying to my parents and fighting with my brother - into my ear. I gave each of them a heavy rock and wrote something that symbolized their struggle on it. I made a rock too...mine was worry. I told the kids that we carry these heavy struggles around with us all the time. They got it...it was great. After I told the story of the Prodigal Son, we talked about how God, like the father, will take us back...no matter how many rocks we have. I took a huge hammer and told the kids that just like when they nailed Jesus to the cross, God can smash any struggle you have...and that rock was dust. My boys were beyond glued! We ended with a small celebration for the son that came home...all my group had cake. It was great. They took their rocks home as a reminder of what God can do.
I came back and saw my rock, marked with a "W" for worry, sitting on my desk. I taught the lesson...but I missed the point, until now.
Funny how God speaks through kids, wind and rocks.
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." (1 Peter 5:7 NLT)